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Pride Month: How do I talk to my kids about LGBTQ Families?

June is Pride Month and I would be remiss if I didn’t speak my mind about the topic of LGBTQ families, as I am a proud member of one myself. My wife and I met in nursing school, and got married in 2019. Starting our family required lots of planning, and ultimately we decided to do reciprocal IVF. Our story is one that I am very proud of, because of all the work we both put into having our first child. We decided to use something called an INVOcell in the creation of our child. To put it simply, my wife’s egg and our donor sperm were placed in a small device that was housed in my wife’s cervix for five days while they matured. After five days, the developed embryos were frozen until ready for implantation into my uterus, where I carried our son for nine months. We both played such an important role in the creation of our son, and I love telling people about it.

The purpose of this blog is not to tell you all about my story; although if that’s something you’re interested in let me know and I will gladly type out another article. I’d like to take this time to answer a question that I get asked more often than I’d like to admit: How do I talk to my kids about LGBTQ families? I want to start by saying that if you “disagree” with the LGBTQ “lifestyle”, I invite you to read this anyway. Keep an open mind, and consider the possibility that somebody you love might belong to this community. If that’s the case, be the amazing person you are and educate yourself on the ways to appropriately talk to children about this.

My first tip is to state the facts, and do so simply.

  • “All families look different”

  • “Sometimes girls love girls”

  • “Sometimes girls love boys”

  • “Sometimes boys love boys”

  • “Sometimes boys wear dresses”

Children are very simple beings. They don’t need to know the details of somebody’s life; they might just need to know why somebody else’s family looks differently from theirs. I’d be interested to know how many questions your child actually has if you tell them their neighbor has two mommies. Which leads me to my second tip…

…answer your kids’ questions, and ask your own. Be honest with your answers and incorporate universal morals such as kindness and understanding. Keep in mind that these conversations should remain developmentally appropriate. If your child is not old enough to have already had the talk about sex, they likely will not ask about the neighbors’ sex life. In addition to answering questions, I invite you to ask “what do you think about that?” following an answer. See if your kids have their own opinions on the matter, and be open to receiving those opinions even if they differ from your own. On the other hand, allow the conversation to end if your child doesn’t have an opinion.

Lastly, celebrate the differences! It’s such a blessing that not all families look the same. We as a society have a real opportunity to learn from people who are different from ourselves. It is a beautiful thing to be able to teach this to our kids at a young age, and I implore you to do so.

  • “Wow, it’s great that your friend has two daddies! That means they get to double celebrate Father’s Day.”

I understand not all of my readers will relate to or even be happy about this post. But I do think it is valuable and important information to pass along. Oftentimes parents are worried about answering childrens’ questions about LGBTQ families; but I encourage you to answer what you can, and find the answers when you don’t have them readily available. As mentioned earlier, children are simple beings- they don’t need many details. However, they deserve answers to the questions they have.

I’d love to dig deeper in this conversation and answer any questions you might have. Please leave a comment below or email me at info@thepatientparent.com if you have specific questions you’d like answered.


Thanks for reading, and Happy Pride! I wish you many months of expressing your true, authentic self.


Brianna


Peep this lil ally <3



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